God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
