I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
