Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
