Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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