Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
