dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
