Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You smell like stripper and shame
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
