rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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