I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
