it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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