I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
