How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
