it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
