those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
