I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
