I look better un-naked...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
