i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
