somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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