Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
