What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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