It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
