What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
