god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
