so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
