If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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