My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
