I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
