Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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