I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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