But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
