There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
