did you get engaged???
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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