I want to walk on stilts...naked
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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