i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
