I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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