Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
