AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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