Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize