"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
