party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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