Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
