I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
