it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
