you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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