two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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