O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
