thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wish my penis had a tongue
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
