Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
