you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize