Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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