SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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