I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
