this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
