I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
