that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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