I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
