i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
