she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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