five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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