I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
