Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
